Thor 2: The Dark World

thor2

5/10.

The first Thor movie was okay in the Marvel money making machine, largely alleviated by the performances of Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston, but it was still an ultimately forgettable venture… it’s a shame the sequel is dog shit.

Hemsworth returns as the super hero God thing, Hiddleston returns as the evil/ is he good Loki, Natalie Portman returns as Jane whoever she is and Kat Dennings returns as I have no fucking idea who her character is at all. This time, Thor must fight Christopher Eccleston but not really Christopher Eccelston to stop him turning the world into darkness… you know, because bad guys like dark things. Now we’ve established why it’s called ‘The Dark World.’

There are a lot of things wrong with this movie so I may as well start with what’s right about it. It’s a fairly entertaining adventure. However, saying a Marvel movie is ‘fairly entertaining’ is like saying a singer knows most of the words to his song; a surgeon knows roughly how to operate on his patient or an Adam Sandler movie is mostly bad. You get the idea, it’s expected of these movies to be entertaining, so even saying Thor 2 is ‘fairly’ entertaining is pretty dismal. Another positive? The climax, with all its dimension jumping, is pretty good. Also, there are some reasonably funny parts to the movie I guess, taking the humour of Thor’s character in the human world and recycling those kind of jokes.

Here’s where the real problems begin. The juxtaposition of the human world and Thor’s world seems tonally inconsistent. The human world comes across as some weird sitcom, light hearted music ever following Jane and her god-awful best friend from 2 Broke girls who can’t act for shit. Suddenly, we’re in Thor’s world where Patrick Doyle’s decent, inspiring music seems to parody what’s on screen like Lord and Miller do in the Jump Street movies. Look at all the serious faces in the picture… everyone knows there’s no real danger posed to any of the main characters in this film. The comedy becomes tedious and the attempts at seriousness in Thor’s world is laughable. Hemsworth’s exaggerated accent becomes more and more noticeable and everyone’s lines are so predictable you could say them before they are spoken. At best, it’s reminiscent of ‘A Knight’s Tale’, at worst, James Franco’s ‘Your Highness.’ Yes, you could genuinely walk into the movie at this point and think it was supposed to be a hyperbolic comedy.

The villain is absolutely shite. Like I said, likes darkness, evil for the sake of it. Eccleston is completely wasted, I can’t believe he accepted the role after reading the script. ‘You’re playing a bad guy… his motivations are… he’s a bad guy.’ Within five minutes of the movie you are so filled up with clumsy dialogue for exposition and a stupid prolonged flashback where Odin’s father pronounces ‘bury it (the big evil thing) where no one will ever find it’ that you’d be inclined to knock it off without giving it any more chance. What a coincidence that an all powerful god thinks ‘where no one will ever find it’ would be classed as the suburbs of London.

The relationship between Thor and Jane is uninteresting and because her fate is such a large feature of the movie, the movie becomes uninteresting by default.

So, why two stars instead of one? As said, the entertaining climax and moments of humour remind me that this isn’t a terrible or particularly badly done movie, it’s just something that it so cliche and un-thought provoking it is very much a mediocre step in the Marvel staircase to the Avengers 2. Loki also lifts up the movie, his relationship with his mother, Thor and the whole is he evil or isn’t he thing he’s got going remains pretty engaging throughout. That being said, even his character gets dangerously close to a caricature; Hiddleston having to work with terrible lines such as ‘it’s not like I don’t enjoy our little talks, it’s just that I… don’t.’ Unfortunately, just because it sounded cool in the scriptwriters’ heads, doesn’t mean it is actually cool.

Anyway, that’s it. Thor 2 is a pretty safe movie and therefore, it’s a pretty bad movie.

RAETING:
Safe mediocrity + Marvel Formula = not a great time at the movies. For Odin’s sake.

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